Self-esteem driving, reckless.
A self-esteem with a vengeance.
A delinquent series of meticulous poetics for the malnourished seeker.
My star came out tonight. It looked like a dead vessel in a sea of space. The star was stationary, of course, and kindled all my suppressed hopes and desires for this life. Mesmerized, I stared and felt my soul’s light reflected back at me from the cosmic looking glass. I mentally channeled my story into its winding recorder so that the next time I see it out I will remember the moment and reflect all over again. This is the way that I grow.
Hail the captains and their crew of expendables, haughtily sailing the slow seas south toward
The clouds hug the harmless horizon, afraid to let go and be transported back up to their boring blue homes. The crew of expendables grasp the helm in similar manner. For they are like the horizon’s clouds, searching for newness in places where none is likely to be found. The lofty clouds explore the forbidden earth; the land loving crew explores the mysterious seas. Not so the captains, who are wise enough to recognize that newness is merely a trick of the underdeveloped mind.
The crew of expendables live in either the future or the past, but never, never the present. The present they fear because of its impulsive immediacy. The present is for the trilingual captains to face and interpret. For them, the present is like a condemned building, unsightly and unlivable, that will malevolently collapse upon the brink of entry.
Sweat clouds my brow,
In the heated churner,
Hellish and intense.
Round and round,
It rolls relentlessly.
While rocky grinding sounds,
Mirror,
The upheaval in my belly.
No balance or footing,
And continual disorientation,
In the rollicking cylinder.
I make my way,
To one of the two exits,
But have neither the drive nor stamina,
To make it there.
And so I tumble over,
Through the dizzy evening.
Why doesn’t the moon appear,
And burnish her smooth olive skin?
Its clay light makes a goddess of her,
She lives in the mystical evening.
Her expansive mind shines,
From her demanding eyes.
They demand,
And my heart palpitates.
Her mouth issues scorn,
Barbs that wound me,
That call me out,
That intensify my feelings.
We are much alike.
The slow roasting torture of the unsure,
Is my curse and pain.
Yet I willfully sit,
Tense in the licking fire,
Because it stings and surprises,
The life within me.