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When I put the world in cruise control, a rush enters my brain and enervates my sense of life. To take your foot off the accelerator and feel your life's vehicle speed forward of its own accord is a sacred experience. It is a feeling of joyful despair: a smiling hopelessness. You realize that time is a heedless instrument of nature. It ferociously gushes down the ditch of infinity, a stream with no discernible beginning or end.